Oops? Well, maybe not. Something wrong is cooking.

[master_troven]

It was really bound to happen.

Phoenix was always telling him that he needed to be more careful That he needed to watch where he put his socks. That he should have his labratory there. And that he should stop drinking prune juice because it made his breath smell funny. But that last one had absolutely nothing to do with what just happened. Neither did the socks. But Phoenix did mention them constantly.

Of course this probably at all doesn't explain the sudden explosion from the lab. Strange colored smoke starts leaking out from under the door. Every where it touches warps into queer and unusual wallpaper patterns. Even the light bulbs. Likely some part of the new wallpaper is rather like the sort found in Willy Wonka's factory complete with snozzleberry.

A few moments after the smoke starts, Alec bolts out of the room and slams the door shut.

He could be heard cursing in strange and unusual languages as he worked on locking the door. Really, really locking the door. In several dimensions and in several undimensions.

Strangely, perhaps, an 'oops' wasn't heard right before the explosion.

Comments

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

That prune juice thing... might not get so mentioned any more, not now Sam's convinced his dad that it's actually quite nice, and he's quietly been experimenting with it in the study, as a bourbon mixer.

More curious than perturbed about the sudden noise... it's that kind of household. Phoenix wanders out to, firstly appreciate the effects - secondly, to realise Alec's totally locking the door.

"Balrog?" It's the first thing that comes to mind offhand.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"Mmm? Oh. Um. Yes?" he lies as he continues locking the door.

Twelfth dimension...

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Okay, so the last one caused all manner of damage, but what's a little rubble to someone of Alec's capabilities? There's also something not terribly convincing about the response.

"Darling. That's not your Balrog expression."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

He pauses for a moment, and leans against the door.

"I have a Balrog expression?" Yes, even in this semi-panicked state he will pause to ponder trivialities.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, sure you do. It's kinda.." He fails somewhat to pull the face, but sort of gives up, because something else has occurred to him. "Summoning doesn't usually happen with a loud bang."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"Usually."

He hasn't moved from the door.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Spill." Phoenix crosses his arms, planting himself stubbornly against the opposite wall, but keeping a wary eye on the door.

The living room door opens a crack, and Sam peeks out, having heard the noise but listening at the door first. "Do we need to evacuate yet?"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Distraction!

"No Sam, we're all good here. Go finish your homework... or play outside... or... something."

There may or may not be sparkles coming from under the door.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"There's er, stuff.." Sam points at bottom of the door.

"Go pay Grandma a visit for an hour, baby." Oh yes, Phoenix will play it cautious whenever Sammy's concerned. Sam seems happy about being excused homework, and disappears with a grin to find his teleport.

"And what is that, exactly?" Phoenix asks, re the mysterious sparkly 'stuff' edging away from the door some. VERY reluctant to let anything touch him.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Alec still hasn't moved away from the door, though he's glad Sam has been sent away. He doesn't know if an hour is enough.

Well, if not, they can always call.

"Vampire dust?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Oh fucking gods, that's just too horrible to contemplate. "Sparklepire? You.. Why do I.. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"... I don't know?" He's still looking shifty eyed. And it doesn't smell like sparklepire.

It smells kinda cloyingly sweet. Like the sort of thing that'll give you a toothache.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

He knows that shifty look far too well. So Phoenix grabs at Alec's collar, half pissed, half.. okay slightly panicked.. "What. The. Fuck. IS IT?". Alright, so that was a tad too high-pitched to sound fully in control.

"Contagious? Poisonous? Humiliating? I'M NOT spending another three days looking like a freakin' PIXIE"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

The collar is grabbed, and Alec flails a little as he loses his balance.

"It's... not... well it might be contagious, it's not poisonous or humiliating," he says. "It's ... not like that at all."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

He does attempt to support Alec a little. As it's nto a full scale row.

Yet.

"Okay, that narrows it down. Dangerous? Alec! What is it?" Phoenix takes a slow breath, counting to ten. "I promise I won't get mad."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

There's a crying noise from the other side of the door. It sounds like the chiming of bells, sweet and tinkling. There may also be gurgling.

"Um..."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Alas, the audible, and olfactory clues are failing to enlighten the angel.

Could be the Bourbon he's consumed?

"Tell. Me. Could be kinda important."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"OneoftheSuejarsfellintosomethingIwasworkingonandnowthere'saSuebabyintheLab"

>.>

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"WHAAAAT?" It's very nearly a scream. No. No it is a definite scream. Phoenix leaps away from the lab door - and from Alec - like a scalded hen.

"No. NO! How could you let that happen?? Fuck! Kill it! KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER! ... Wait. Did you say contagious???"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"..... yes?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"How? How contagious? In what way contagious?" He's automatically pulling the blaster from his belt.

"I don't wanna be a ... one of those. Or get a dose of male pregnancy.. or... Open the door. Let me shoot the motherfucker."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"You won't be able to kill it. It's in the uber-cute stage. It'd be like shooting kittens."

He pauses. "You'll just want to love it and cuddle it and think it's the most wonderful thing ever."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"If it's got violet eyes, it's DEAD." Okay. Probably best to take Alec's advice on this.

"Well... how.. what's the usual thing to do?"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"Um. Hide?" He's not being very helpful right now. "Hope it starves? Though then it might become some sort of undead thingy."

Alec thinks for a moment. "I wonder if we could age it until it's a teenager and then get it to die a tragic death. They love those."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"No. No undead suebabies. We don't wanna be responsible for sparkly zombies."

Phoenix nods, playing with the blaster. That sounds feasible. "Or get it outta here and get it adopted?" They like that too.

He doesn't want the bloody thing dying in his arms.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

They do like that!

"Who do we hate enough to do that to?" he wonders.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"There's a couple of names spring immediately to mind, but those are against The Rules." He backs away again, Phoenix really doesn't much like the look of that sparkly stuff.

"Oh!" Then a flash of the most awesome inspiration hits him like a brick in the face. "Oh gods... Alec! This. Is a fucking golden opportunity."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Alec makes ineffectual kicks at the sparkles which leak insidiously from under the door.

"You want to give her to Norrin?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Norrin?" He genuinely hadn't though of that. "Hm. We'll call that plan B."

"Noooo.. nono. We'll age her up, give her what they love! A story. Mysterious old cottage between dimensions; tragic, haunted being in possession of the kitchen table! Lonely piper, condemned never to rest. She'll love it!"

Why yes. He's quite prepared to use this to solve the wee small domestic problem of a noisy kitchen. "They'll spend forever gazing into each other's eyes and being emo. It's perfect."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Awww... Alec likes that plan. Yes, he is still annoyed at the shiny man.

"I don't think a cranky old Scottish bagpiper is good romance material..."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Phoenix is currently undergoing some very odd mixed feelings about Norrin.

"Have you ever actually seen what he looks like? Can't we de-age him or somethin'?"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Phoenix is very good about going through odd mixed feelings about people. He'll draw the line at having the man in bed though. The three of them. If Phoenix really wanted to he could shag Norrin but honestly, Alec doesn't see why he'd want to.


"You can't de-age a ghost and I can't bring people back from the dead."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Now that particular three-in-a-bed is a recipe for disaster if ever there was one. He's confused. JUST confused. And will pout, and avoid the subject if...

Okay. Things to deal with.

"Huh. Pity. I'd love a peaceful breakfast. You sure he's old? Maybe he died young - and his being dead is great.. he'll manifest himself for her.. 'cuz he will, 'cuz she's special. And they'll be doomed never to be able to touch, kiss or all that stuff." He's clearly having trouble letting go of the idea.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

The subject is being completely ignored in Alec's particular reality.

"I'm sure he's old. He's called us all youngen's," he says. "Besides even so, how is he going to get out of the table?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"He must have some kinda physical manifestation. How do we know he can't get out of the table? You've tried changing the tables, he got into the new one."

He's beginning to give up on that one, and takes out his frustration by aiming the blaster at the sparkle-dust, firing, and burning several holes in the floor.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

He only changed tables at Phoenix's request.

"Well... he only seems to go into kitchen tables in places that I live." Alec scratches his chin. "Maybe he's haunting me."

"You're fixing that."

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

His next request is going to be consigning the damned table to the back yard.

"Okay, fine. We're gonna have to age her up and pack her off to boarding school. Or do that there tragic death thing you mentioned. Or fucking kill the bitch ourselves...!" More firing... He does have some immunity to these creatures, but is still very unhappy about the contagious nature of the dust.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it, okay? After."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"We could send her somewhere, claim it's Hogwarts, they like that, or Middle Earth or something... and it's really a black hole."

That and the dust leaves a stain.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"That'll do. Anything. Wait. Can't you just stick her in a jar? How hard can that be?"

He does actually quit with the ineffective strategy of shooting at things.

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Alec is about to reply, mostly on the range of "You're no fun" when a sweet voice comes from the other side of the door.

"Daddy? Where are you daddy?"

"Fuck," Alec says.

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"Fuck." Phoenix agrees. and sticks his fingers in his ears. "She's aging!"

"You're not to open the motherfucking door until she's in her nineties."

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

Alec gives Phoenix the most level look he can level at the other man.

"Phoenix. Darling. Love of some of my lives. How old are you?"

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

Phoenix is not at his most level today. Alas. But he gets Alec's general meaning. He thinks.

"You've created a motherfuckin' IMMORTAL???"

[master-troven.livejournal.com]

"I HAVE NO IDEA! I HAVEN'T BOTHERED CHECKING!"

Really, why does Phoenix think he keeps them in jars?

[ashes-ascended.livejournal.com]

"PUT IT IN A GODS-DAMNED JAR! PLEASE! Darling."

Bizarrely perhaps, he's never associated things living in jars with immortality.

With the possible exception of Ori.